There’s a common perception that anger is only loud and explosive. However, people can also turn anger inward. Both types of anger can be managed with the right strategies.
Below, we clarify inward vs. outward anger, how the two manifest, and their link to depression.
The Difference Between Inward and Outward Anger
Outward anger is when someone directs their anger at other people or situations. It’s visible and can damage relationships, cause conflict, and sometimes lead to dangerous or destructive behavior. Most people recognize this type of anger.
Inward anger — also called “repressed anger” or “internalized anger” — is when someone turns their anger against themselves. Instead of expressing it outwardly, they suppress it, which may result in other challenges. This type of anger often goes unnoticed by others.
Experiencing anger is natural, but when it becomes explosive or uncontrolled, it can isolate you from others and harm your mental or physical health.
How Anger Manifests Itself Differently
The signs for outward anger are easier to spot and may include:
- Yelling or raising your voice
- Confrontational or aggressive behavior
- Blaming others for problems
- Name-calling, cursing, or using hurtful language
- Physical aggression, like hitting, throwing things, or slamming doors
- Sarcasm or cutting humor aimed at others
- Passive-aggressive actions, such as withholding affection or doing things to upset someone
- Hostility or irritability
- Giving the “silent treatment” or withdrawing from others as punishment
- Sudden outbursts that surprise others
- Broken relationships or frequent conflicts
In contrast, the signs of inward anger may be more subtle and may include any combination of emotional and physical symptoms:
- Harsh self-criticism or a strong inner critic
- Feelings of guilt, shame, or worthlessness
- Emotional numbness or lingering sadness without clear reasons
- Social withdrawal, isolation, or alienation
- Urges to hurt oneself or self-sabotaging behaviors
- Inability to relax or enjoy life
- High, unrelenting standards for oneself
- Confused sense of self or identity issues
- Intense anxiety or paranoia
- Judging others harshly
- Lack of satisfaction in relationships
The Connection Between Depression and Anger
“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” — Eckhart Tolle
The connection between depression and anger — particularly inward anger — is a complex cycle. Repressing anger requires a lot of emotional energy and may lead to feeling exhausted and hopeless, which are also core symptoms of depression. Other physical symptoms from suppressing anger, like chronic fatigue, headaches, and muscle tension, further contribute to feelings of depression.
As depression deepens, it becomes harder to do activities that could alleviate symptoms, such as socializing or exercising. This reinforces feelings of powerlessness and negativity, perpetuating the cycle of depression. Some people may fear expressing anger outwardly due to concerns about rejection or abandonment. This fear further suppresses anger, resulting in shame and guilt.
Find Healthier Ways to Process Anger With Merrimack Valley Psychological Associates
Recognizing whether your anger is turned outward or inward is the first step toward finding better ways to cope and express your feelings. Anger management counseling is a valuable tool for addressing both types of anger.
At Merrimack Valley Psychological Associates, we will assess your needs to find the best way to help you. If your schedule makes getting to our office tricky, we also offer teletherapy.
Contact us to schedule an appointment.